SS is right..I’m a realist, and not a dreamer..Not that I don’t want to dream, but to dream over something is to put some level of hope and expectations. I do dream..I have my dreams to own a bigger house, I dream to drive a Beamer one day, I dream to be a super mom..a hot mama, a stylo wife, a superb woman, a successful business lady..yes, I do dream..I do fantasize..
But not like SS, who is sure and determine to have her knight in shining armour, I am not as brave as her..not as strong as her, to have even a slightest expectation or hope to finding perfect love, or, marriage.
Maybe due to my constant disappointment in life has made who I am today. Started when I was a lot younger, being the youngest in a group of very competitive siblings is never easy. I would be the last to arrive in any races, would be the last to get the answer to a simple math quiz, would be the last to know how to read.. Those definitely not by choices, but nothing I could do differently at that moment..Of coz I dreamt to win every time..I was far too young to compete in a race, far too small to understand Math or English..
Since then I learnt that I should not dream of the impossible. Because dreams would hurt you..dreams have hurt me so badly..And I don’t dare to dream of things which is beyond my control..Love and marriage are two example..Until now, I don’t dare to dream of how would my perfect guy be, and what theme should I have for my wedding..and how a perfect marriage feels like..I don’t dare to dream..
Being me, I know myself well..I will put effort to make everything be near perfect, but if it doesn’t work..It’s ok, coz I know I have put my effort into it. I never asked for a perfect guy, maybe that is why I felt in love with a man with a full baggage with him..Some asked, even he once asked..Why did I accept him? Yes, I do know that he is not perfect..and I accepted..because I never dream to have a perfect guy with me, just him putting a nice gesture, a simple effort from him, is already perfect for me..Never asked him anything more than his effort..For me, the rest is so subjective to weight.. (example, your rich bf could give you a solid solitaire, but your anak org biasa bf could only give you cincin belah rotan, is that make the rich bf better?) It’s how much effort they put to get that ring that matters. It is all about effort.. And just by putting effort, that will make me happy and that is already perfect for me.
I don’t expect more, be it, in love, in live, or in marriage, because the perfectness of those couldn’t be measured. And that is why I don’t dream of a perfect love or marriage. But of course, both parties should be putting the same amount of effort to make it work..and as long as I know that my other half is putting the same cut in the plate..I am totally ok with it. :)
SS, I am so envy that you could dream of all that super nice, and super perfect episodes especially that knight in shining armour part.. I really do..Since I don’t dare to dream, allow me to just pick up the excitement from your dream yah.. Those dreams are for strong people like you..not some coward like me...you go gal! just dont forget to share with me..I'll be waiting for more..hehe
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My Pretty Twin,
Don't get me wrong. I totally disagree with you. For someone being able to dream is not about being strong and if someone can't,that person is a coward. May be I watch too much movies,read too much fairy tales books or may be, it was the way I've been raised up contributed to me being so dreamy. Being a Gemini is a huge factor as well I assume. I guess I have been disappointed way too many times that I dream. Thats the only things that kept me going and alive. Wihtout dreams, I could as well be dead. :)
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