alfie..

i miss u baby..i miss u soo much sayang..it's nearly two months u left me..it's ur birthday again..dat's why mommy misses you sooo much..the thoughts of you warmth my heart..i wish i didnt loose you so soon..i wish..i could hold you forever..i wish i could touch you...you are forever my love and i love you so much..and i miss you sayang..sangat..

im stronger...

hey..

guess wat..ive become a stronger person!! i knew it tonite..when Mr Nice Guy mentioned about his short trip with QC to sabah..surprisingly..i can accept that..of coz at first..i felt jeolous..and i showed it to him..but after a while..my sensible mind told me not too..and i simply said to him.."I'm done.." Mr Nice guy was shocked and asked me..what do i mean when i say dat..i said..im done with me torturing myself..i told him..tonite, he would say all the nicest things and how he understand how i feel..but tomorrow, he's gonna have fun with qc and leave me alone to handle this..so i said to him..nope..im done..im not going to be sad, while he's having fun..

and i meant every single word i said..enough of being stupid..i told him..i refused to think abt this..and i told him..that now..he has his own life..and i have my own..once in a while,if our path crosses,then it crosses laa..we spend time..have gud laughs,share our stories..then dat's it..then, we move on again..i found it,it's easier dat way..no string attach..no emotions attach..

im glad dat tonite..i can smile while writing this.. :) i know that ive crossed another step of becoming stronger..

i feel a sense of achievement..me protecting my heart..me protecting myself.. :) yahhhhhhhhhoooo...i cant believe it!! im actually defending myself not to be played anymore..isnt it great?? ehehheh..

i feel great abt myself..i do..thank you god for helping me thru..and for loving me..