Be with the one that you could not live without

It has been a while that I have stopped writing. I wanted to just live my life and be normal and happy just like others. Feeling has been bottled up, thoughts have been piling up. It is not as easy as one could say..or one could see..

It is right when people say.."Be with the one that you could not live without". But now, I am forced to live against this saying. I am forced to accept that I could live a better life, happier life without him, the love of my life. How could I live? how could I be happier? How could this be better for me?

God knows how much I've tried to hold to the statement "I'll be better without him, I'll be happier, I'll be much loved". God knows how much I wanted it to be true. But I'm only human..I'm still the girl who believe that her love is her life..I'm still the girl who stupidly believe that love conquers all..I'm still the girl, who believe that her first kiss is for the love of her life.

I am still a girl that hold to memories to keep her alive, I am still a girl who wishes to be loved. I am still a girl who wishes that her boy will love her back unconditionally.

It is hard to love, it is even harder to let go of a true love.. he is my true love. I love him for what he is, love him for what he is not. Love him for his perfection, love him even more for his imperfection. Love him for his charistma, loves him for his every weaknesses.

Loves him when he snored, loves him when his tummy couldnt stand spicy food, loves him when his hair looks messy, loves him, when he fell asleep just in the count of three. loves his smell in the morning, loves his smell in the afternoon, loves his smell in d nites..

Love him when he hold my hands so tightly till it hurts, love him for driving recklessly, love him for walking fast, love him for his precious 2 hours, love him even when I knew he lied, love him even he has broken my heart repeatedly. Love him so much it is beyond words..

Reaffirmation: To live AGAINST the saying above is HARD.

So pls say that "I'll have a better and happier life" again.. Could you?