I want to forget..

I’ve been betrayed by the people that I dearly loved and trusted. I hardly can describe how I feel..there is no right words to express the sadness, the pain, the anger that I have inside me.. I’ve been crying, laughing, frowning and smiling, all at once.. I cry for the lost and the love that I had for them, I laugh for what a clown I have been, I frown for the stupidity I own, and I smile in surprise for what had happened.

He made mistakes..he betrayed..he lied..I wish he could turn the clock back and undo all of that. He used to be my everything..All my life was around him..It seems forever that I have been with him..We used to have so much love and happiness..dreams, laughters, smiles, kisses and warmth hugs, we used to have comforting words for each other..That was all so special to me..I never thought all those special thing, he would ever share with others..but I was wrong..I was nothing special..What I thought as special was not as special..easily shared… How stupid I was to even think I was the chosen one..

She loves to flirt..she sees no boundaries..she betrays..She was a friend. She had given me the strengths to face my deepest sadness before. I will not forget. But I will never forget her betrayal too..She has stepped in my territory and claimed that she was only flirting and went a little overboard. “Don’t mess with your best friend’s man”, that’s the unspoken rule that everyone knows..yet, she chose to do just that.. How stupid I was to even think that she was an angel sent from above?

I am the victim of love and trust.. I loved them so much, that I would do anything, anything in this world to make them smile back to me..I loved them so much, that they always come 1st and I, 2nd..

I trusted them so much, until I forgot to ask questions.. I trusted them so much, until I was blind, failed to see their love episodes, that they both acted so well in front of my naked eyes..

and for the years of lies, the “sessions” behind my back, the pretending, the dramas..

I blame myself for surrendering my purest love, attention and care for you..who obviously do not honor that.. I had never loved anyone more, than my love to u ..I had never been so sincere with anyone, like I've been with you..I have never sacrificed to anyone but you..

May God helps me with this, may God helps me thru..